Babies who don't sleep... and what to do about it!
I 'slept like a baby'. How often do you hear that phrase and wonder where these babies are, who sleep so well?
Are you wondering what is normal for a baby, and where your baby lies on the 'normal sleep' scale? Maybe you already know your baby is waking too much, or that you are so exhausted you've come searching for answers. Hopefully by the end of this blog post some of your questions will be answered.
Normal Baby Sleep
What is normal baby sleep? Well, research has shown that there is a range of 'normal' when it comes to baby sleep.
Research indicates that infants wake on average 1-3 times a night up to 12 months of age, and this is considered neurologically normal.
Plus? Babies can have different sleep needs according to their individual make-up, meaning some babies might only require 12 hours total sleep over 24 hours, whereas others may require closer to 17/18.
The wide range of normal sleep for babies makes it really difficult for new mums to understand what on earth is going on, and if their baby is sleeping enough or not.
A priority for baby sleep patterns should be less related to the quantity of sleep, and more focused on the quality of sleep.
How to improve your baby's sleep
There are simple things you can do to improve the quality of your baby’s sleep.
Ensure the temperature of the room is ideal for sleep. If it is cold, get a warmer sleeping bad. If it is hot, ensure you cool it down (but not too much!).
Babies lose heat much faster than us as adults
As a general rule, have your baby in one extra layer than you would be comfortable with
Darken the room at night
Having a darker room, or a room with red light only, helps melatonin production
Melatonin isn’t produced by the baby on it’s own until they are around 12 weeks of age - so before this they are relying on what they get from the breast milk (if you’re breastfeeding)
This is one reason why trimester 4 is important - to ensure baby feels safe to sleep and can have some melatonin from your milk
Ensure they aren’t hungry or have a full nappy
Imagine going to bed with wet underwear.. it would not be comfortable! Get your baby as comfortable as possible when putting them to sleep
Hungry babies won’t sleep - they will want to feed (understandably)
Ticked all these options, but your baby is still not sleeping well? Take a look further down at some of the signs of poor quality sleep, and the reasons why your baby isn’t getting it.
A Normal Baby Sleep Schedule
Baby sleep schedules are a bit of a myth. While you can ABSOLUTELY follow patterns, they shift quite often, and are dependent on many factors.
Babies will often start by napping 3-4 times a day.
They will start to consolidate into 2 naps a day.
And these will consolidate even further into 1 nap in the middle of the day.
Until the dreaded transition into no day naps, where you get nothing done, and often they crash at 4pm as they can’t ^quite^ make it through til bed time yet!
But here’s the thing. The transitions between nap frequency and length is different for every child.
Here’s what you need to be asking yourself:
Do they sleep with their mouth open
Are they restless
Do they wake after 20min
Do they wake a few minutes within putting them down
Do they startle or wake up distressed
Do they turn their head both ways
Do they need an elaborate settling technique (you know, like sitting in one particular corner, with white noise, bouncing on a fit ball, wrapped a very particular way.. and it still takes an hour to get them to sleep?!)
Do they settle easy or take a long time to get to sleep
Helping your baby transition between sleep cycles
Does your baby wake up after each sleep cycle? It is important that they learn to transition themselves from cycle to cycle, otherwise they will be needing your assistance every time they rustle. This will not last forever but it sure is exhausting for you! There are gentle ways to help your baby learn this transition.
One sign that something is bothering your baby is that they cannot connect their sleep cycles. They will wake every 40min, and you’ll notice you can sometimes settle them, and other times they’re wide awake. The problem is, you can tell they’re still tired, and that they still need more sleep. They may even seem wired. Either way, they’re definitely not happy about waking up!
The easiest way to help your baby learn to connect their sleep cycles is to ensure they are physiologically capable of doing so. If so, then they must have the right environment to sleep.
Common reasons why your baby isn’t sleeping
In my practice, there are a number of reasons why a baby may not be sleeping well. I’m just going to mention them here, but if one particular reason resonates most with you, take a look around my other blog posts for more info.
Vagus nerve - low vagal tone causes babies to want to be held for every sleep, and wake up when put down
Food intolerances - something you’re eating (or your baby is eating) could be disturbing their gut, causing frequent wakes
Structural imbalances - can cause heightened nervous system response every time baby moves their head or body
Airway dysfunction - if your baby has sleep disordered breathing they may be waking frequently due to low brain oxygenation
TMJ dysfunction - the jaw can cause babies (and kids / adults too!) to have an overexcited nervous system stress response, making it impossible to fall asleep and stay asleep
Nutrient deficiencies - there are nutrients that are required for sleep hormone / neurotransmitter production, as well as brain detoxification