If the nervous system ‘window of tolerance’ is a new concept to you, it may soon become a favourite. It is around Dr Carrie headquarters, anyway! Let’s find out more about expanding your nervous system window of tolerance.

Coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, your window of tolerance is your own unique optimal zone of safety and regulation. Inside this zone, you feel calm, focused and able to approach day-to-day stress effectively. This doesn’t mean that there is no stress in the zone. Unfortunately for us humans, stress is just an everyday part of life. In fact, we need some ‘good stress’ to trigger things such as motivation, focus, and movement.

The window of tolerance is individual to each person’s nervous system.

When we are inside our window of tolerance, challenges are manageable and we have access to the parts of our brain that help us to make wise decisions with clarity. We can respond to others mindfully, instead of reacting with strong emotions.

Here’s the annoying part; some people’s windows feel really small and it doesn’t take a lot of stress to push them outside of their window and into a state of dysregulation. Other people may feel that they have huge windows, but they’re carrying so much stress that they’re over capacity. These people often feel close to the edge, with small everyday stressors sending them into a fight/flight or freeze reaction really easily.

Have you ever been quick to anger when something small annoyed you? Maybe the washing machine is simply too loud and the sound of “muuuuuuuuuum” just felt like too much. Or perhaps something went wrong, you burnt dinner or forgot something at the supermarket, and you can’t help but cry it out. You may even lose your temper and then find yourself in a shame spiral wishing you had handled the situation better.

These emotional reactions are completely normal and also brilliant indicators of where your capacity is today. The key is in self-awareness, taking moments to notice how ‘full’ your stress bucket is (so to speak), so you know how much regulation is left in your window of tolerance.

Basic modern human things can fill that stress bucket - such as lack of sleep, a big to do list, juggling kids/work/home/finances.. and even dealing with uncertainty such as those unexpected things that pop up at the WORST time. And how we are able to respond to these things is dependent on 1. how wide our window of tolerance is, and 2. how full of stressors it already is.

You might notice your friends or partner responds very differently to the same stress load - and this could indicate their window of tolerance is a bit wider than yours. Same goes the other way, especially with our children, as they learn through stressors how to grow their window of tolerance, so in general they are less tolerant of stressors than adults.

A narrow window of tolerance is a sign of a sensitive or dysregulated nervous system.

If the above information resonates with you (and you’ve often wondered why you’re so sensitive relative those around you), it’s time we had a look at your window together. Consider this your sign to seek some gentle support and guidance in expanding your window of tolerance.

Some at home tips on caring for your window of tolerance

Release stress
Have some stress releasing go-to tools that aid self regulation. These tools may include vagal breathing, heart-centred breathing, EFT tapping or horizon gazing. Choose what’s best for you and start practising each time you notice the first signs of overwhelm.
Move your body
Schedule in some movement activities which you can stick to no matter what. For example, I go for my walks in nature rain, hail or shine! Okay, maybe not hail, but even on a horrible cloudy day, I get out there and move my body. You might have a daily yoga practice, love to swim in the ocean or dance in front of the telly.
Self-care routine
Think of some of your favourite self-care exercises, the kind that soothe you. Maybe you take an hour in the bath with a glass of wine and a good book. You might prefer to lay in the sun and cloud gaze. How about a massage or meditation class? What can you easily do this week which is low stimulus and calming, and how can you make sure you fit in this quality you-time regularly? (Schedule it in your diary right now).

Somatic arts therapy sessions with Ashleigh to expand your window of tolerance:

In a trauma-informed practice, your zone of safety and regulation is paramount. In the compassionate space of a 1:1 session, you will release stress and discover new ways to self-regulate. You will feel supported to come back to your center, and develop more self-awareness around your triggers and automatic reactions to stress. (Are you a fight, flight or freeze girlie?)

For those with a really sensitive system, who may have lived with instability, a lack of support, or trauma, we work together to expand your window so you can find more regulation in the face of challenges. We focus on identifying and reducing triggers, and develop coping tools to help you handle stress with more confidence.

By supporting the nervous system this way, we find more emotional regulation and better communication with our loved ones. This benefits our ability to be mindful with our families and find greater connection. We also notice other benefits, like clarity of mind, a better ability to focus, reduced symptoms of burnout, more energy and joy in the small things, and a greater sense of purpose and meaning from life.

For me, personally, learning about my window of tolerance has led to a more fulfilling and heartfelt life! I reconnected to my body, learned to listen to my gut instincts, found more clarity in stating boundaries, have more energy for the things and people I love, and reduced symptoms of chronic pain. Becoming attuned to my personal window of tolerance has been a lifesaver, and the number one reason why I am so passionate about supporting others to learn about their own.

At the end of the day, each one of us has a unique window of tolerance and individual daily needs. It’s my pleasure to support you in learning about your window and guide you towards more ease, safety and connection.

What others say about Ashleigh..

"After a long road of denial and fear about first needing help and then asking for it, I met Ashleigh, I cannot believe how much I have been empowered by her offering of a safe place to let my story be told and let my emotions be felt.
Her methods and professionalism along with her ability to make you feel completely safe are what has helped me find my voice and take back my power.
Our journeys are all so different and far from perfect, she has helped me find acceptance and love for my journey, she has helped me step out from the shadows and feel sunshine on my face for the first time in a long time! I am forever grateful. Bec.

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